...General: Life Lessons

Ode to European Butt Cracks

At the AC Florentina vs. AC Milan soccer game

All European nations seem to share this similarity.
It’s an unfortunate trend that’s just not pretty.

In the bar, or at a football game,
it can distract from even Beckham’s fame.

Though it mostly affects the European regions,
it’s indiscriminately, inviting anyone to join its legions.

Blame it on the low cut pants,
but beware your line of sight all it takes is one glance.

Butt size can be big or small,
one squat down we see it all.

The subject at hand has a plethora of aliases
that range in vulgarity from tushies to asses.

Refer to the subject by many a name,
but behold the monster and the reaction’s the same.

Never meant to see the light of day,
when that crack creeps out just tuck it away.

There’s a fine line between sexy and gross,
living in in Europe, I’ve had my dose.

I don’t write this ode to be cruel or mean,
I just want to commemorate all that I have seen.

This trend is not as common back in the states,
they should warn European pant consumers of the purchase that seals their fates.

It’s embarrassingly public, tacky, and vile,
but after this trip I won’t see it for a while.

So I’ll soak it up now, it’s part of the culture.
Besides, it’s pointless to fight it, when those affected desire no cure.

Hilaryously,

Habitual

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